By: Nereida Rosario
“….When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2B
Thanksgiving Day, my favorite calendar holiday will soon be upon us and as I usually do during this time of year, I’m processing life moments. A specific one comes to mind: It is the first Wednesday of this year, 2011. I am standing with my brothers and sisters in church and our worship Minister leads us into our next song….”Love Came Down and Rescued Me, Love Came Down and Set me Free, Now, I am Yours, I’m Forever Yours, Mountains high or valley low, I sing out, remind my soul, that I am Yours, I am forever Yours.” Before long, I am weeping. The weeping is not a sudden, single occurrence but something that has happened quite frequently as life starts to unfold into what I call “a new normal” and as I am reminded of all that took place. With the event behind us but with emotions so raw and so close to the surface, it doesn’t take much these days to go into a “weep fest.” It comes suddenly, flooding my soul like a tsunami wave, overcome with songs of thanksgiving, praises and prayers before my God. You see, just one year ago crisis came knocking at my family’s door. It came so unexpected, so sudden…literally weakening me at the knees, losing my bearings upon hearing the prognosis. It was Thursday, September 30, and I was at choir rehearsal. I got a call from my husband, Edwin. He was with our girls and he didn’t sound well. He told me that he was feeling very dizzy and his vision was flashing (he could only describe it as when you are looking at a ceiling fan too long and your eyes try to adjust to the blades moving…a flashing movement.) I got home and we drove him to an urgent care facility and they informed us that we needed to take him to an emergency room. While in the ER he also felt a strong headache and a CT scan was performed. Close to midnight the ER doctor came to our room. Grabbing Edwin by one hand and grabbing my hand with his other we formed a circle in that tiny ER room. He informed us that Edwin would be staying at the hospital for a few days. He told us that the scan revealed a tumor on the rear lower right side of his brain. The worst case scenario, we were informed, could be cancer. It felt like a sucker punch to my abdomen and I started gasping for quick gulps of air. I grabbed and held on to the bed Edwin laid on, because I could not stand on my own. I told the doctor that he must be mistaken and that this could not be. It was September 30, and in one week on, October 9, Edwin and I would be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary. It was on my mind that in 1998, after battling with a diagnosis and long illness, my first husband died one week after our 11th wedding anniversary. This could not be happening, this could not be so! I began to weep and to ponder: I looked up and exclaimed “Are you kidding me?” Oh the many questions! Immediately the calls, emails and texts for prayers were sent out. People all around the US, even as far as Australia, joined the Rosario Family as we lifted Edwin to our God in prayer and fasting. The next morning as I explained to our two girls that their daddy was in the hospital, I told them that we had some trouble and we would be tested like a bible story we had just done on the 3 Jewish boys: Shadrach, Mischak and
Abdengo. Maya, who is 7, immediately quoted me Psalms 91…”He who dwells in the shelter of the most high God will rest in the shadow of the Almighty, I will say of the Lord He is my refuge my fortress my God in Him will I trust.” Sofia, my four year old reminded me that even though the 3 Jewish boys went into the fire, they were not alone because God was in the fire with them and He saved them and not even their hairs were burned:
When I think about the Lord and what He’s done, I weep with joy and I find that I can easily just breathe! I pray the same for you in this day.
Reflection Corner:
1.) Here Is there a song that reminds you to be thankful? Sing it and remember His goodness.
2.) A speaker I recently heard said that if God was in the fire with the three Jewish boys, then that was the safest place to be. Can you believe that in your situation?
8 thoughts on “When it seems difficult to be Thankful- Part 1 of 3”